The Pitchwars submissions window opens in a couple of weeks, and I, like many other WannaMentees, (ya like that word there?) have the seemingly insurmountable task of choosing just four mentors to submit to. The problem is, I am awful at choosing. I stand in front of nail polish samples for an ungodly amount of time trying to decide what color to change my nails to for just two weeks.
It’s even worse when it comes to actual people! For the love of the two-hearted Time Lord, I can’t even figure out which Doctor is my favorite! Everyone has a favorite it seems, and they form secret clubs. Fine, not that I want to be in your secret club (yes I do), but my favorite is actually David Matt Ecclespaldi.* It’s a real name, look it up! Oh, and don’t even get me started on my favorite companion who goes by the completely legit name of Allofthem Everysingleone!
While one can have all the Doctors and companions one wants, the rules of Pitchwars state you can only submit to four mentors.
Time to get serious and make a plan!
Step 1: When the bios came out I began
stalking following everyone who seemed like a good fit.
Step 2: Once the wish-lists were published (I may or may not have sat at my computer hitting refresh waiting for that moment), I read each blog hop post in the Adult category and narrowed to list down to ten.
Step 3: While re-reading each post, I made extensive notes, carefully considering many things. Did they seem like someone I could work with? Did I fit what they were looking for in a mentee? Does my ms seem like something they’d get excited about? Are things that give them grabby hands the same things I have to offer?
Step 4: Based on my notes, I gave each mentor/mentor team a score between 1-5. An explanation of my scoring system is as follows:
A 5 means EEEEEEP which is the squeaky sound I make when I can’t put my excitement into words. It’s also the sound I made when I saw the Avengers trailer for the first time. If you didn’t make a similar sound, I am not sure we can be friends.
4s mean please move next door to me so I don’t have to get out of my pajamas to stalk you properly.
***Let me stop and say here that I would be LUCKY, BLESSED, and OVER THE FREAKING MOON, to be chosen by any of the mentors. They all seem like an amazing, talented, bunch, and my scoring isn’t based on their quality, but how well I think we would work together.***
3s are like Nutella. According to some, it’s the most divine gooey substance ever invented. There are whole Pinterest boards dedicated to it. I BELIEVE you when you say it’s great. Thousands of people wouldn’t lie about its greatness. If it was the only thing I had to eat, I wouldn’t cry about it, but I don’t bow down at the feet of the Nutella gods and sacrifice random foods to them.
I’m all about the PB and Chocolate!
1-5 is also how I rank Eurovision participants. But it gets way more complicated because there are scores for both song and performance and lots of snacks are involved. If you don’t know what Eurovision is, don’t even bother googling it. It must be experienced to fully appreciate it. Get with me next May and I’ll point you in the right direction!
So now that you know the extent of my selection silliness…this is how it went. Out of the ten mentors and mentor teams I ended up with:
Step 5: I instantly made a shrine and sacrificed a llama to both 5s. *kidding* I’m not a monster, sheesh! It was a goat. *kidding*
I just used lots of exclamation points and hearts then put them in the AbsoSmurfingLutely YES pile! Consequently, AbsoSmurfingLutely YES, is what I would say if this guy showed up at my door and asked me…well anything. “What do you need Jax? A cup of sugar? My left kidney? A place to bury a body? Oh, you just want me to run off with you? AbsoSmurfingLutely YES!”
Don’t worry, my husband said it was ok!
Step 6: I then eliminated the 3s. Sorry Nutella with your beautiful hazelnut gooey goodness.
Step 7: After closer inspection I was able to eliminate two of the 4s, but I’m still left with five awesome possible mentors/mentor teams and I can only submit to four. This shall require much more stalking… and maybe a dance off.
I still have a week and a half to figure it out.The irony in all of this, is while I am stressing over how to choose four mentors, each mentor/mentor team will have dozens, (maybe hundreds?) of submissions to go through before they each select JUST ONE! The chances of ME being selected by one of the four I submit to are slim. But it’s gonna be an adventure, if nothing else!
So if any mentors are reading this, and have made it to the end, here is a bit about little ole me. My MS will do most of the speaking for me, but here is a preview to find out if I am your Nutella or your Peanut Butter and Chocolate?
*9-12 of course. I couldn’t get into the earlier Doctors but I am anxiously awaiting lucky 13 and Jodie Whitaker’s Doctor! Squee!